Dlisted.com posted earlier Wednesday the very kind offer of a Louisville, KY, man who is up for going down on any woman who fits his requirements.

LouisvilleFreeFace.com offers up the services of a man who promises it is no joke -- he just enjoys the many splendors of a woman. Born Leslie George Kistner III (though he goes by either George, Vampire Lord or God), this man seems rather serious. He even has requirements. The woman has to be: of legal age, clean, single or in an open relationship, cute, naked, disease free and ready to tell folks if she enjoys it. She even gets the option of Alka-Seltzers and electricity during his oral engagement!

We honestly don't even know what to say about this.